Alexander Gordon Smith

Archive for the Category Puke-Inducing Fairground Rides


I almost lost my lunch…

After a stressful morning of film stuff yesterday (who would have thought that making a feature-length movie with no money and no experience would be so difficult?!?!?) I was in desperate need of some fun. Luckily for me the Easter Fair was on in Chapelfield Gardens! I went and met Lucy and Lynsey, and their friend from Manchester, Nicky, at the Red Lion and wolfed down a gorgeous Sunday Lunch, then we swung by and picked up Jamie and headed into town for some seasonal fun.

I very quickly began to regret having eaten so much for lunch…

It wasn’t so bad to start with. Jamie and I had a go on all the gun games (as boys are wont to do), and won Lucy a fair few cuddly toys to add to the ones that the girls had won on various other games. We got a bit obsessed with the hoop games too, and came painfully close to victory so many times. I’ve been a bit nervous of carnies (are we allowed to call them that?) ever since we had a carnival at university, and my friend Luke was bold enough to ask whether the hoops actually fit over the things they were supposed to fit over. The only response he got was in the form of the stall owner vaulting over the counter and chasing him across a field. Which kind of answers the question, really. But the lady at the Easter Fair did show us that a win was achievable, and indeed we managed to add to the little posse of cuddly bears and elephants and other creatures that Lynsey was lugging around in her bag.

After that it was the Dodgems, which I absolutely adore. I think we went on five times in the end, and we all must have had severe whiplash by the time we staggered off. I’ve got a huge bruise on my knee where Lynsey and Nicky rammed me!

After that I was feeling a tad green, but Jamie was adamant that I joined him on some horrific spinny contraption that looked more like a torture device from the Inquisition than something you’d do for fun. I held out as long as I could but then gave in. Now, I used to go on these rides all the time when I was a kid, sometimes twenty times in a row, and come off feeling as fresh as a daisy. But I’m OLD now! I swear, when that thing started I honestly thought I was going to have a stroke. You know that feeling when you’re at the train station and a high-speed one shoots past and you try and follow it and you feel like somebody has pulled your stomach out of your bottom? Well that’s what it felt like, but it wouldn’t stop! After a minute or so I got used to it, then for the next couple of minutes it was actually okay, then I started to feel like I was going to chunder, and was eyeing Jamie’s new jacket as a way of getting revenge for making me ride the ride. But fortunately it stopped soon after and I managed to sway back onto solid ground. I was so ill that I only just managed to eat a hot dog and some candy floss, which for me, at a fair, isn’t very much at all!

After that the girls went off to watch 17 Again, which I thought was probably even more likely to make me hurl than the fairground ride, so Jamie and I went home. A great day though!